public speaking

            Talking to a complete stranger, this is not an easy task for some people; for others it is hard for them to keep to themselves when in public. I always wondered why certain people were good at speaking in public and what made them so good at sparking a conversation with people around them. Sometimes people are only good at one or the other, for example I feel that I am good with talking to strangers but I get nervous when I am speaking in front of a crowd. I have never felt like I am able to work a room with ease but I do feel confident about myself.

            When reading our text called “Messages” I began to understand what some people might go through when trying to speak to strangers. People that are not good at sparking a conversation with strangers usually feel like that person is not interested in them. They feel like they are not smart, or they feel that they are boring and do not know if anyone would be interested in them; this is what rejection can do to someone that is not confident in themselves. I found this learning lesson from our text interesting because this is the way that I feel when I am in front of an audience.

            According to our text the key is to reframe rejection, we have to realize that the ideas which we are creating in our minds are usually not true. “We are mind reading when we say that someone might not be interested in us”(Messages pg.207), we are truly never sure of what someone is thinking at all. The reason for rejection might be because the other person might be afraid of strangers, they could be worried about other things which they might have on their mind or they might have a very hectic schedule this particular day and no time to chit chat. There are many reasons which can cause someone to reject a conversation, the key is to not view it as a personal issue.

            I think that growing up in a city where there are millions of people and you are constantly in contact with them by riding the subway and taking the bus everywhere you go; being social might come naturally. On a subway conversations are sparked on a daily basis, people complain about how long they have been waiting for a train, how dirty the subway station is and even how dirty the person sleeping next to you might be. This has helped me immensely in my life, I am very social amongst strangers and for the most part I have always been. My upbringing has given me the opportunity to feel that when I am in public I am not worried about what other people are thinking about me because I am so used to constantly being around others. My next step in life will be to get accustomed to feeling this way in front of an audience.     

Reference:

Mckay, M., Davis, M., & Fanning, P. (2009). Negotiation. In Messages, The Communication Skils Book (3rd ed., p. 207). Oakland, CA: New Harbinger.